I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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