opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
