Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
