So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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