the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
