I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
You had me at "let me see your balls"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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