On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
