Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
