ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
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The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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