I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize