Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
