i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
