On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
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My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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