ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Do vagina's smell?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
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