brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
