in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
