he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
