i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
