Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize
