It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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