he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
