i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
