thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
