I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
