420 ftw
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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