can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
