My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
