OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
