All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
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I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
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No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
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