he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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