how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
