just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
