i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
