She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
