Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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