Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
