Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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