Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
