it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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