...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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