why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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