Whoa Z and x make the same sound
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
