he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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