He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize