the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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