Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
