Jerry, you need to find god
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
