Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Randomize
