i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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