I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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