I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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