I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude