If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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