out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.