My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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