Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
