My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I wear drunk well.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
