She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
