I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
