So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
