the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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