he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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