so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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