Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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