I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Hippo gnu deer
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
