Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
handjob tips. give me some.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
