i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
