i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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